A Spiritual Lull
The air is still and the heat oppressive. The breeze has been silenced by the stillness of mid summer. There is a familiar feeling. It is the undesirable lull, again. To be exact, I first noticed this feeling last spring. Why do I find myself back in this spiritual lull, or did I never leave it?
I must ask myself a few questions- Why am I here? Am I accepting the lull that God has placed before me? How is God working on my character? The lull is quite similar to the desert, spiritually arid and naturally sacrificial. “It is not lent,” I proclaim! However, it appears God has allowed me to reside in this spiritual lull. As I reflect, it seems I have yet to realize why. Spring was several months ago now, which is when I first wrote about the lull (here). Quite frankly, I would like out. But, the scenery remains the same, the direction is not clear and the lull continues.
What is the goal?
I read some thought provoking words the other day by Oswald Chambers. He writes, “My goal is God Himself, not joy nor peace, nor even blessing, but Himself, my God. Am I measuring my life by this standard or by something less?” I am afraid I may have chosen something less.
The struggles of the world incline me to desire things that will bring me comfort and yet, those things, apart from God do nothing for my soul. My goal seems to be transfixed on the things, “joy, peace, blessing,” not the prize, “Himself, my God.” As I continue to ponder, I am drawn to Jesus’ words…
“Unless you people see signs and wonders, you will never believe.”
John 4:48
Believe what? That He is in fact all I need regardless of the lent-like scenery and what feels like a never ending lull. No amount of seeking joy, peace, blessing or consolation will ever be enough. True fulfillment only comes from desiring God himself, not his gifts. Four simple words capture this truth.
“Lord, nothing except you.”
St. Thomas Aquinas
As I sit in the lull, hearing the water lap up against the side of the boat, I realize I am in need of a heart alignment, a shift that moves my heart from wanting the gifts the Lord bestows, to “Lord, nothing except you.”
Thank you for sharing. I feel this way as well and have for some time. I know He has used this time in my life for
Quite reflection, and challenging me to finding contentment. It is not an exciting season just the dull lull. I wonder does the whole world feel like this ? A pregnant pause. Pause before what?
I think something big is going to happen in the kingdom but what and when and how. It is helpful to read your words and examine my own heart motivations . As I sit in the lull my challenge is not to think of it as dull and not to miss an opportunity to draw closer to Him.
Yes, a pause indeed!
Beautiful, Leslie! I too relate to this. Nothing seems quite
satisfactory. A spirit of discontent rises up and like you, I question, “what is my motivation? My comfort or Him?”
The lull is most certainly a convicting time for me.
Convicting for sure!
As I chase after
love, joy, peace and blessings
they seem to elude me.
Slipping through my fingers.
God whispers
“Seek me alone”
Turning my eyes on Him
Centering on His presence
“Be still and know
that I am God.”
He fills the depth of my being.
It is then that
love, joy and peace
flow through me
Poured on me
by His many blessings.
“Seek me alone.” Why is that so hard? And yet He is the only one who can fill us so we can pour out. So well said, Karen, Thank you.