Bookends – Alpha and Omega

Bookends, like door stoppers are great things to have. Bookends come in all shapes and sizes and do one thing, keep books upright. Both gizmos come in handy, and yet we usually don’t realize we need them until the books start falling over or the doors begin slamming.

Lately, I feel like a stack of books without bookends – teetering, unbalanced and struggling to stay upright. As I pause to reflect, the Holy Spirit helps me to see that I have forgotten to lean into my spiritual bookends, the Alpha and the Omega.

“I am the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end”.

Revelation 22:13

Spiritual Bookends

Without leaning into my spiritual bookends, the inevitable has occurred and I find myself horizontal, just like a stack of books that lists, wobbles and eventually succumbs to the slightest shift or draft or closing door. Without their trusted bookends, the books simply struggle to stand. 

Spiritual bookends help us maintain focus, keep our spirit at peace, capture our never-ending, wandering thoughts, and allow our body to rest. In other words, it is abiding in the arms of the Father, walking in the company of Jesus, and listening for the guidance of the Holy Spirit. This is where I want to be, however, more often than not, I find myself struggling to stand upright, teetering and forgetting to lean into the Alpha and the Omega.

Give up the Balancing Act

We recently sold our home and moved to another part of town. The struggle to keep all the plates spinning and all the balls juggling, honestly, has led to a frustrated, irritable, disappointed self; and at the end of the spinning and juggling act, there is one exhausted person with broken plates and balls on the floor. Perhaps spinning plates and juggling balls should be left to the circus, rather than the spiritual walk. 

But how do I trade this in, this balancing act for the bookends? If it’s not the balancing act of a move, maybe it’s a new job, starting school, sending a child off to college, caring for a loved one, and the list goes on an on. It’s just life. So how do I lean in? As I sit and pray, the Lord offers a few things:

• Humility – I don’t have to do it alone. Ask for help. Maybe it’s ok to not be a superhero, and maybe it’s okay to hang up the cape.

• Introspection – carve out some quiet and spend time in silence. Go for a walk or sit on a park bench.

• Listen – what is the Alpha and the Omega, the One who wishes to hold me up, saying?

• Re-focus – what is in my line of vision, God or everything and everyone else?

• Take a step – Holy Spirit, I am open to your guidance. Please guide me.

The Struggle is Real

It’s easy to write a list of to do’s or state 5 steps for a better you. But the truth is, this is hard and a daily struggle, and probably more like an hourly struggle. So, I will start with just breathing, slowly. I know the goal is clear, to lean into my spiritual bookends – to abide, to walk and listen to Him. I want this. But, as St. Paul reminds me all too frequently, the flesh is weak and many days I choose to teeter and wobble.

I think it may be worthwhile to purchase some bookends and place them on my shelf in the hopes that they remind me that I too am in need of bookends.