Desert Journey – Day 6

I am beginning to enjoy the quiet pace of the desert. It’s not hurried or pressured. When I go for a hike, it seems to take me a bit of time to find my stride. I may start out too quickly and get winded or too slowly and feel sluggish. But when I hit my stride, I feel like I can walk forever. There doesn’t seem to be a need to find a stride for this desert hike. Jesus is setting the pace.

Sitting on the large rock with Jesus brings a stillness to my spirit. One for which I often long. The need to get things done seems non-existent. Stillness and quiet are good for the interior life.

Yesterday, I spent time reflecting on the word ‘selfish’. Being involved in ministry is a beautiful outpouring of our love for God and others. However, I found myself claiming ownership of a ministry he had asked me to care for. When ownership is claimed, our concentration can easily turn toward ourselves, self focused in ideas and directives, instead of God’s will. I must confess, I fell into this trap. Something else happens when we claim ownership and are trapped by pride, we assume the space designed for the Holy Spirit to move and work. And I do not want to hinder the Spirit!!

This past Sunday during communion, I released and offered up to the Lord what was his. On Sunday, it was an act of surrender and releasing, for it would take me a few more days to realize how I had taken ownership. I am reminded that I am the caretaker, not the owner. It is a place of humility, instead of pride.

Jesus, keeping “self” in check is hard. He gently reminds me to spend a little more time chatting with him about the work he has asked of me. I can do that, Lord. Conviction brings repentance, which ushers in abounding freedom.

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