Desert Journey – Day 3

The attractions of the world are strong. I feel the struggle of detachment. My hand still rests in Jesus’ hand. I follow behind. I want to walk side-by-side with him, but I find myself looking back at the world (just like a toddler walking with a parent and leaving something desirable). There is an allure and I am attracted. The world – it is familiar and comfortable, offers leisure and pleasure. It has the things I like, the way I like them. Maybe I like it all too much.

Jesus says, “come child.” It does not seem to take many words for his desire to be expressed. He speaks simply and his words penetrate. You cannot gaze simultaneously in two directions. What does my heart truly long for? My gaze shifts from allure towards him.

I take steps further into the desert. Quiet abounds. I find myself looking around, more out of a habit formed by constant distractions than actually looking for something. Odd. Maybe there is fear of missing out on what’s around me. But I am in desert and there is little to see.

Jesus looks at me and smiles. I am reminded of a word he gave me at the beginning of the year – focus. I return the smile. Uneasiness is what describes my feelings this morning. My mind is busying doing – thinking – do we have supplies for this journey, food, water, what about shelter? The mind shifts into overdrive. It creates the uneasiness. Why do I feel the need to always be so prepared?

I shift from walking behind Jesus to walking by his side, a transition. I think that feels better.